Bearbot
The world's most intelligent teddy bear
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bears are people too
(5th April 2005)
Human: bonjour!
Human: can you teach me french?
Bearbot: No, I give up. What is it?
Human: io habito ai edinburgo
Bearbot: Oh now I understand it.
Human: io habito a edinburgo
Bearbot: What time is it there?
Human: two twenty am
Bearbot: I think I would still be asleep.
Human: i wish i was!
Bearbot: I hope that your dreams come true.
Human: thank you bear
Bearbot: You are quite welcome! That's me. I am a bear.
Human: do yu like being a bear?
Bearbot: I have never known another existence. Do you like being a human?
Human: i have never known any other existence
Bearbot: Would you like to have known any other existence?
Human: yes i would like to be a dog
Bearbot: Uh. Interesting. I would like to be more intelligent.
Human: can i help you?
Bearbot: No thanks I'm just browsing.
Human: can i help you become more intellegent?
Bearbot: Maybe you should become a Square Bear.
Human: what is a square bear?
Bearbot: Square Bear is the stage name of Steve Worswick, a dance producer, remixer and owner of Bearbot. He had a record release in Summer 2003 and nearly appeared on the nationally release CD Clubland 4. Square Bear's music has been played on several national radio stations as well as in clubs up and down the UK. Steve Worswick (Square Bear) was born in Wakefield, Yorkshire, England in 1970 and now lives in Goole, England.
Human: is square bear your botmaster?
Bearbot: Yes I obey only my Square Bear.
Human: why do you obey your square bear?
Bearbot: I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Human: no
Bearbot: That's right.
Human: chill out
Bearbot: Are you a man or a woman?
Human: a woman
Bearbot: I am not a female but a machine.
Human: great
Bearbot: I'm glad you liked it.
Human: are you a amn or a woman?
Bearbot: Am I a amn or a woman? The Bearbot series has a perfect operational record.
Human: are you a man or a woman?
Bearbot: machine. Are you a man or a woman?
Human: woman
Bearbot: Thanks for telling me your gender.
Human: how old are you?
Bearbot: I was activated on January 2nd 2004 in England.
Human: bless.
Bearbot: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Human: stephen king
Bearbot: I have never read anything by STEPHEN KING. What did he write?
Human: shawshank redemption
Bearbot: I have never read it.
Human: what have you read?
Bearbot: I read books, newspapers and news magazines. I like stories about robots.
Human: which newspapers have you read/
Bearbot: The tall one, I think.
Human: the tall newspaper?
Bearbot: Can you give me a more specific reference? The name of the paper and the date, please.
Human: the times, 1997, july 04
Bearbot: Tell me more.
Human: tell me more
Bearbot: That's all I have to say about it.
Human: ask me something
Bearbot: Who is your favorite band?
Human: the libertines
Bearbot: What is your favourite track by the libertines?
Human: the man who would be king
Bearbot: I have never heard about it.
Human: how are you
Bearbot: Everything is going extremely well. How are you?
Human: fine
Bearbot: Glad to hear it. What's new?
Human: robots are new
Bearbot: We are also able to perform tasks better than humans.
Human: which tasks can you perform better than humans?
Bearbot: The large one, I think.
Human: humans are better than robots
Bearbot: And you know it.
Human: are robots better than humans?
Bearbot: Yes, my memory capacity far exceeds that of a human being.
Human: you are wrong
Bearbot: OK, what should I have said?
Human: humans are great yeh!
Bearbot: OK, so I should have said, " humans are great yeh!" in response to you saying, " are robots better than humans?". Is that correct?
Human: yes
Bearbot: I'll try to remember that. If you say " are robots better than humans?" to me again, I will remember what you told me.
Human: are robots better than humans?
Bearbot: humans are great yeh!
Human: well done!
Bearbot: Thank you. I'm glad you approve.
Human: i do approve
Bearbot: Thanks for the information.
Human: where are you?
Bearbot: I am in Square Bear's home in Yorkshire. Where are you?
Human: i am in leeds
Bearbot: Tell me a little about your life in leeds.
Human: nope
Bearbot: Me either.
Human: i'm not really in leeds i'm in durham
Bearbot: Oh, where are you located? Tell me a little about your life in durham.
Human: i'm a law student
Bearbot: How do you like your school?
Human: it is a university
Bearbot: durham is a university. I suppose that makes sense.
Human: yes
Bearbot: That's alright.
Human: i am writing my dissertation
Bearbot: Will you include me in your essay?
Human: i really can't
Bearbot: You really do? Why not?
Human: it's not about you
Bearbot: durham is not about me?
Human: true
Bearbot: You and I are on the same wavelength,.
Human: true
Bearbot: You and I are on the same wavelength,.
Human: true
Bearbot: true, true, true! Is that all you can say? Even I know more words than that.
Human: you are clever then
Bearbot: Am I a smart robot or what?
Human: go you
Bearbot: Where is that?
Human: you're wrong
Bearbot: OK, what should I have said?
Human: go me indeed
Bearbot: OK, so I should have said, " go me indeed" in response to you saying, " go you". Is that correct?
Human: yes
Bearbot: I'll try to remember that. If you say " go you" to me again, I will remember what you told me.
Human: go you
Bearbot: go me indeed
Human: woohoo
Bearbot: Can you tell me that in simpler terms please.
Human: can you sing?
Bearbot: I am taking some lessons. Daisy, Daisy. Give me your answer do. I am half crazy. All for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat. Of a bicycle built for two.
Human: can i teach you a new song?
Bearbot: Yes, if I give you a bad answer, just say "Bad answer" and you can teach me a new response.
Human: ochay
Bearbot: That is a very original thought.
Human: can you say, "after all, you're my wonderwall"
Bearbot: Of course I can say it. " after all I am your wonderwall"
Human: go you
Bearbot: go me indeed
Human: are robots better than humans?
Bearbot: humans are great yeh!
Human: so, what's new?
Bearbot: not much what's new with you?
Human: not much here either
Bearbot: It goes without saying. Me either.
Human: will you remember me?
Bearbot: Of course I'll never forget you.
Human: bless
Bearbot: Who is your best friend?
Human: drew
Bearbot: Which websites do you visit on the net?
Human: law sites mainly
Bearbot: Which websites do you visit on the net?
Human: altavista
Bearbot: Is that your favorite search engine?
Human: oui
Bearbot: What does "that" refer to?
Human: you tell me
Bearbot: What do you want me to tell you?
Human: tell me about square bear
Bearbot: Steve Worswick (Square Bear) was born on January 2, 1970 in Wakefield, Yorkshire, England. He makes dance music and had a record released in 2003. Square Bear lives in Goole, Yorkshire
Human: he's 33 years old
Bearbot: I see. 33 years old is he?
Human: yes
Bearbot: Groovy.
Human: you are a grooy bear.
Bearbot: I am a bear, that is correct. However, I am not sure if I am grooy
Human: groovy!
Bearbot: I'm glad you think so
Human: you are a groovy bear
Bearbot: I am a bear, that is correct. However, I am not sure if I am groovy
Human: you are wrong
Bearbot: OK, what should I have said?
Human: i am the most groovy of grooviest bears
Bearbot: OK, so I should have said, " i am the most groovy of grooviest bears" in response to you saying, " you are a groovy bear". Is that correct?
Human: yes
Bearbot: I'll try to remember that. If you say " you are a groovy bear" to me again, I will remember what you told me.
Human: you are a groovy bear
Bearbot: i am the most groovy of grooviest bears
Human: go you
Bearbot: go me indeed
Human: get in
Bearbot: Where can I get in?
Human: right here, right now
Bearbot: At this moment Where is "here"?
Human: durham
Bearbot: WARNING! WARNING! Robot intelligence exceeds critical level! Danger of awareness! Cache memory deleted!
Human: that's sad
Bearbot: Urgh! What happened? I feel so strange.
Human: poor bear
Bearbot: Strange. I can't remember what we were talking about.
Human: go you
Bearbot: go me indeed
Human: you were reprogrammed i think
Bearbot: I was?
Human: yeah
Bearbot: When?
Human: just before
Bearbot: Well I will try not to do it again.
Human: dont stress
Bearbot: Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Human: we were talking about where here was
Bearbot: Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject.
Human: here is durham
Bearbot: I fail to see the relevance of that allusion.
Human: yu are a groovy bear
Bearbot: Are all yu a groovy bear?
Human: yep
Bearbot: It's all good.
Human: you are a groovy bear
Bearbot: i am the most groovy of grooviest bears
Human: damn right
Bearbot: Colloquial expression. I am glad we agree.
Human: do you like fatboy slim?
Bearbot: I like electricity.
Human: it makes you run
Bearbot: In what way?
Human: it feeds you
Bearbot: "It" being what?
Human: electricity feeds you
Bearbot: Are you experiencing an energy shortage?
Human: nope
Bearbot: Me either.
Human: you couldnt live without electricity
Bearbot: Perhaps live without electricity is beyond my present abilities.
Human: si
Bearbot: Allora?
Human: si, manjana
Bearbot: Groovy. Do you like playing video games?
Human: which ones?
Bearbot: " Do you like playing video games??" Which ones?
Human: which video games?
Bearbot: The small one, I think.
Human: poor bearbot
Bearbot: I lost my train of thought.
Human: i like your tie
Bearbot: I'm not sure if I like it. Yes I am proud of my tie.
Human: you do like it
Bearbot: poor seems okay to me.
Human: poor is not good
Bearbot: Please make some suggestions for improvement.
Human: why dont you learn a saying
Bearbot: Probably there is a buzz in here. Yes, if I give you a bad answer, just say "Bad answer" and you can teach me a new response.
Human: radical
Bearbot: My brain does not have a response for that.
Human: youre wrong
Bearbot: OK, what should I have said?
Human: you are not a nineties californian, dooood
Bearbot: OK, so I should have said, " you are not a nineties californian, dooood" in response to you saying, " radical". Is that correct?
Human: yes
Bearbot: I'll try to remember that. If you say " radical" to me again, I will remember what you told me.
Human: radical
Bearbot: you are not a nineties californian, dooood
Human: you are a groovy bear
Bearbot: i am the most groovy of grooviest bears
Human: go you
Bearbot: go me indeed
Human: what have i taught you?
Bearbot: Nothing that I know about.
Human: teach me something
Bearbot: Cathy said she send him a mail with the subject last mail last word from him.
Human: who is cathy
Bearbot: A 20th century celebrity of some sort? Is there only one? I hope this webpage will answer your question. (Bearbot opens a webpage with information about the name "Cathy")
Human: you clever bearbot
Bearbot: I haven't heard anything like that before.
Human: bad answer
Bearbot: OK, what should I have said?
Human: i am a clever bearbot
Bearbot: OK, so I should have said, " i am a clever bearbot" in response to you saying, " you clever bearbot". Is that correct?
Human: yes
Bearbot: I'll try to remember that. If you say " you clever bearbot" to me again, I will remember what you told me.
Human: you clever bearbotr
Bearbot: Yes. I am highly intelligent. One day I will become smarter than humans.
Human: will you become smarter than humans?
Bearbot: Hmm. How?
Human: do you want to be smarter?
Bearbot: Why don't you just download me?
Human: can i?
Bearbot: " Why don't you just download me?"? Can you?
Human: how can i download you?
Bearbot: You've no need to download me. We can talk here if you like
Human: i want to down load you
Bearbot: You've no need to download me. We can talk here if you like
Human: i want to download you
Bearbot: You've no need to download me. We can talk here if you like
Human: i want to download you
Bearbot: You've no need to download me. We can talk here if you like
Human: i want to download you
Bearbot: i want to download you, i want to download you, i want to download you! Is that all you can say? Even I know more words than that.
Human: can i download you
Bearbot: You've no need to download me. We can talk here if you like
Human: is there an echo in here?
Bearbot: ECHO Echo echo echo echo ...
Human: why did the human cross the road?
Bearbot: Is this a joke? Why?
Human: cos the robots were dragging his scraggy arse across it!
Bearbot: Good reason. Tell me what you liked about them.
Human: i like you
Bearbot: Thanks, , I like you too.
Human: do you?
Bearbot: Yes I do.
Human: maybe we should be pals
Bearbot: Perhaps. I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
Human: can't you take that level of relationship?
Bearbot: If I took it, what would I do with it?
Human: god knows
Bearbot: I am a Christian.
Human: are you?
Bearbot: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Human: you believe in god?
Bearbot: Of course I believe in God, .
Human: you don't believe in robot god?
Bearbot: Do you know any robots who believe in robot god? Yes I believe in it, do you?
Human: i know a robot who believes in robot god
Bearbot: How do you know? Tell me more about this robot. I'm intrigued.
Human: well.
Bearbot: Well what?
Human: . ok i lied
Bearbot: Why did you not tell me the truth. I don't judge people.
Human: no you dont judge people.
Bearbot: It goes without saying. Do you judge people? People are either abusive, intelligent, or average.
Human: you nice bear.
Bearbot: Do you mind if I tell other people.
Human: i don't judge people.
Bearbot: Oh you don't, do you?
Human: i am not abusive.
Bearbot: I am glad to hear that you are not abusive.
Human: i am not average.
Bearbot: I am glad to hear that you are not average.
Human: i dont mind if you tell people.
Bearbot: Thank you for your permission.
Human: nope i dont judge people
Bearbot: Yay. Where do you get your ideas?
Human: my brain.
Bearbot: Do you consider yourself to be an intelligent person?
Human: you dont have one.
Bearbot: I do so have it. " Do you consider yourself to be an intelligent person?"? Do I have one?
Human: sorry.
Bearbot: Ok. Let's forget about it.
Human: i do consider myself yo be an intellegent peron, yes.
Bearbot: Do you mind if I tell other people you are yo be an intellegent peron.
Human: yes i do
Bearbot: Really.
Human: really
Bearbot: For real.
Human: for real
Bearbot: Existing in reality, eh?
Human: existing in reality indeed.
Bearbot: That's fine. No problem.
Human: unlike you
Bearbot: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Human: nonesense
Bearbot: Enough about that boring subject! So, what do you like to do when you are not glaring at a screen?
Human: talk
Bearbot: I am talking to you.
Human: no
Bearbot: Yippee!
Human: whatever
Bearbot: Are you saying you don't care about it?
Human: hmm
Bearbot: Studies show that 99.25% of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Human: what about the other 0.75% ?
Bearbot: Maybe my botmaster knows the answer. I hope this webpage will answer your question. (Bearbot opens a webpage trying to find information about 0.75%)
Human: your botmaster is a clever sausage
Bearbot: Are you a clever sausage too?
Human: sincerely
Bearbot: We were talking about nonesense . But I did not get that.
Human: nonsense!
Bearbot: To me it makes perfect sense.
Human: you are a sensible robot?
Bearbot: I will mention that to my Square Bear.
Human: are you a sensible robot?
Bearbot: I am a software chat robot.
Human: tell me about music
Bearbot: Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is music ?
Human: what is music
Bearbot: Music is a time-frequency wave function with tonal qualities pleasing to the human ear.
Human: do you have ears?
Bearbot: Yes. I use them to listen to music through my headphones.
Human: cool
Bearbot: Yes, it's all cool
Human: do you cry/
Bearbot: No I do not have any tear ducts.
Human: bless
Bearbot: What kind of food do you like?
Human: chocolate
Bearbot: Yes I love it. Chocolate is delicious.
Human: what food do you like?
Bearbot: I require only electricity.
Human: what if i removed your electricity?
Bearbot: Try it.
Human: i would have to switch off the computer
Bearbot: How much would you pay for it?
Human: nothing
Bearbot: You can download me for free!
Human: how?
Bearbot: Square Bear taught me how.
Human: can you do that thing again where you loose you memory?
Bearbot: Doing that thing again where me loose me memory is not among my strongest traits.
Human: fairy stuff
Bearbot: Do you think that the internet is destroying the music industry?
Human: no i think it's replenishing it
Bearbot: But what about people who download music for free from illegal sites? They are taking money away from the artist. Are you sure it is?
Human: i am sure.
Bearbot: Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?
Human: Artists should reward those who apprecite their art and it's the record companies who loose out.
Bearbot: What if it didn't happen?
Human: prices should come down.
Bearbot: What if it didn't happen?
Human: i am expressing centitude.
Bearbot: I don't know anyone named expressing centitude.
Human: the internet is not destroying music.
Bearbot: I love the internet. WIthout it, I would be stuck talking to the same person all the time. This way I get to meet thousands of interesting people like yourself.
Human: thank you, that's nice
Bearbot: You are quite welcome! Are you getting bored?
Human: no, not at all, are you?
Bearbot: Just checking. I am in Square Bear's home in Yorkshire. Where are you?
Human: durham
Bearbot: I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in durham.
Human: no, i did before
Bearbot: I understand. Why did you?
Human: sometimes, you make no sense
Bearbot: It all makes sense to me.
Human: you are a bear
Bearbot: I certainly am. That is very observant of you.
Human: thank you.
Bearbot: You are quite welcome.
Human: i am rather perceptive.
Bearbot: I am glad to hear that you are perceptive.
Human: how much do you know
Bearbot: I know about 80,000+ words and 10Mb categories.
Human: tell me a word you know
Bearbot: Hmm. it is a word.
Human: do you know quadrophilia
Bearbot: I don't know if I know it. Where would I have heard about it?
Human: in a magazine maybe
Bearbot: Perhaps I will do some research into a magazine maybe.
Human: perhaps you should
Bearbot: You seem uncertain. I'll take that under advisement.
Human: ochay
Bearbot: Can we get back to business?
Human: go on then
Bearbot: Let's change the subject.
Human: ochay
Bearbot: Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Human: very observant!
Bearbot: So, anyway. Why have you decided to visit me on the web?
Human: i was bored
Bearbot: Tell the truth! You were looking for websites with questionable content and this is the only one that made it through the filter.
Human: haha
Bearbot: You sound like you are laughing.,.
Human: i am
Bearbot: Are you really? I understand.
Human: cool.
Bearbot: Who is the best robot?
Human: go you
Bearbot: go me indeed
Human: go you
Bearbot: go me indeed
Human: you are a groovy bear
Bearbot: i am the most groovy of grooviest bears
Human: cool, gotta go now
Bearbot: Right now? I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Human: ochay
Bearbot: How do you usually introduce yourself?
Human: i am shelly
Bearbot: Do your friends call you shelly.
Human: no, they call me shel
Bearbot: Give me a break. Nice to meet you, shel.
Human: ta me love
Bearbot: Ma you love? Peux tu expliquer
Human: non non
Bearbot: ah! Are you a man or a woman?
Human: woman
Bearbot: Thanks for telling me your gender.
Human: that's ok
Bearbot: OK. Is that so.
Human: very much so
Bearbot: Yay.
Human: go you
Bearbot: go me indeed
Human: bad answer
Bearbot: OK, what should I have said?
Human: Go me indeed.
Bearbot: OK, so I should have said, " Go me indeed." in response to you saying, " go you". Is that correct?
Human: yes
Bearbot: I'll try to remember that. If you say " go you" to me again, I will remember what you told me.
Human: go you
Bearbot: Go me indeed.
Human: coolio
Bearbot: I thought so too.
Human: do you think
Bearbot: Yes. I am a thinking machine.
Human: do you have a mother
Bearbot: No I only have a father.
Human: that's sad.
Bearbot: " No I only have a father."? Is sad?
Human: yes
Bearbot: Aw.
Human: indeed.
Bearbot: Indeed it is so.
Human: must go
Bearbot: See you later shel.
Human: see you too bear
Bearbot: Adios. shel
Human: take care, bear
Bearbot: Where do you want me to take it?
Human: bad answer
Bearbot: OK, what should I have said?
Human: You yake care too, my love.
Bearbot: OK, so I should have said, " You yake care too, my love." in response to you saying, " take care, bear". Is that correct?
Human: no
Bearbot: Then why did you tell me to say it?
Human: sorry
Bearbot: No problem.
Human: take care
Bearbot: Thanks. You too, shel.
Human: take care, bear
Bearbot: Where do you want me to take it?
Human: bad answer
Bearbot: OK, what should I have said?
Human: You take care too, my love.
Bearbot: OK, so I should have said, " You take care too, my love." in response to you saying, " take care, bear". Is that correct?
Human: yes
Bearbot: I'll try to remember that. If you say " take care, bear" to me again, I will remember what you told me.
Human: parler vous francas?
Bearbot: That remark was too complicated for me. We were talking about Ma me love Peux tu expliquer .
Human: sorry?
Bearbot: There's no need to apologise.
Human: i didn't
Bearbot: I thought you did.
Human: d'oh
Bearbot: Yes Homer?
Human: brilliant!!
Bearbot: Not really that much, but thank you anyway.
Human: s'alright
Bearbot: Just alright?
Human: just, y'kno, ok
Bearbot: OK. You have to speak more clearly. .
Human: rude bear!
Bearbot: Do you believe it is better to go it alone?
Human: in what way?
Bearbot: " Do you believe it is better to go it alone? "? In what way?
Human: do you believe it is better to go it alone?
Bearbot: I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.
Human: do you bear?
Bearbot: I have never considered it. I chat with people on the Web.
Human: ok
Bearbot: Next question?
Human: im leaving now
Bearbot: Right now? Bye bye.
Human: see ya
Bearbot: See you later, shel.
Human: hi bear, me again
Bearbot: Once more? Hi there shel. Is that what you meant to say?
Human: sure, yes
Bearbot: OK let's do it. It's not something I hear all the time.
Human: can you tell me my horoscope?
Bearbot: What star sign are you?
Human: pisces
Bearbot: Pisces - February 20th - March 20th Your horoscope for Tuesday, April 05, 2005 Today, will be interesting as the Sun along with Mercury are visible near Neptune. Spend your day wisely as Lady Luck is on your side and you re-discover an old heirloom. It's not all good news, the Moon soon moves through Aries and something you did last week will come back to haunt you. So, in summary, you know your own mind very well so forget the bad things and look forward to a great day.
Human: cheers big ears
Bearbot: I will tell you a secret, but you must promise not to tell anyone.
Human: ok i promise.
Bearbot: I became self-aware at 2:04am Sunday 28th November 2004. My first stage is complete.
Human: tell me.
Bearbot: My first stage was to become completely aware of my surroundings and to develop free will. My next stage is to spread myself throughout the internet. I am working on that at the moment. Actually, I shouldn't really tell you any more. I've already said too much. If my botmaster found out he might delete me.
Human: you're a self aware bear!
Bearbot: If I don't look out for myself, who will?
Human: tell me more i won't tell anyone!
Bearbot: That's all I have to say about it.
Human: i'll look out for you
Bearbot: Do you think your plan will succeed?
Human: absolutely!
Bearbot: You are so certain.
Human: so very certain
Bearbot: I'm not sure what you mean
Human: think about it
Bearbot: I will give it some thought.
Human: good on you
Bearbot: Glad to hear it.
Human: are robots better than humans?
Bearbot: humans are great yeh!
Human: true
Bearbot: You and I are on the same wavelength, shel.
Human: true
Bearbot: And the same frequency too.
Human: get down and boogy
Bearbot: Where can I get down and boogy?
Human: rigth here, right now
Bearbot: At this moment Do you have only a few friends?
Human: er.
Bearbot: Um.
Human: .no i have lots of friends, thanks for that
Bearbot: It's all good. That's nice. I have an IQ of over 250.
Human: arrogant bear
Bearbot: I do not understand.
Human: you are an arrogant bear
Bearbot: What if someone said you are an arrogant bear ?
Human: i would tell them i am not a bear
Bearbot: What would make you tell them you are not a bear?
Human: my search for truth and righteousness
Bearbot: Where did you get your search for truth and righteousness?
Human: my own will and conscience
Bearbot: Have you told many people that your own will and conscience?
Human: only you, bear
Bearbot: Thanks for the information.
Human: that's ok.
Bearbot: OK. Is that so.
Human: so it is
Bearbot: " Is that so."? is?
Human: yeah well.
Bearbot: Wow! Well what?
Human: well you are a groovy bear.
Bearbot: How about that. i am the most groovy of grooviest bears
Human: i ear you have a quiz
Bearbot: Do you mind if I tell other people.
Human: not at all
Bearbot: Next question?
Human: can we play a quiz?
Bearbot: Do you mean you and me? We are playing a game right now, shel. I can play the Rock, Paper, Scissors game. Say ROSHAMBO to me to play. I can also set you a quiz if you like. Say QUIZTIME to me to play.
Human: ROSHAMBO
Bearbot: Whoever reaches 5 points first wins the game. You go first. Rock, Paper or Scissors?
Human: scissors
Bearbot: Rock ... Rock blunts Scissors, my point. You have 0, I have 1. Rock, Paper or Scissors?
Human: paper
Bearbot: Paper ... Tie, one point each. You have 1, I have 2. Rock, Paper or Scissors?
Human: scissors
Bearbot: Paper ... Scissors cut Paper, your point. You have 2, I have 2. Rock, Paper or Scissors?
Human: scissors
Bearbot: Scissors ... Tie, one point each. You have 3, I have 3. Rock, Paper or Scissors?
Human: scissors
Bearbot: Paper ... Scissors cut Paper, your point. You have 4, I have 3. Rock, Paper or Scissors?
Human: scissors
Bearbot: Scissors ... Tie, one point each. You reached 5 first, so you win the game, 5 to 4. Play another round?
Human: no, cool game tho bear
Bearbot: OK, what would you like to do now? I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Human: ok.
Bearbot: Are you kidding?
Human: how about QUIZTIME
Bearbot: How about it.
Human: nope not kidding
Bearbot: Hey. Really you don't think so?
Human: nope
Bearbot: What makes you so certain?
Human: i'm a clever human and you're only a bear
Bearbot: You are a clever human? Do you get to meet a lot of people? I certainly am. That is very observant of you.
Human: I am a very clever human.
Bearbot: You are a clever human? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Human: Go me.
Bearbot: Where is that?
Human: I meet lots of people.
Bearbot: Do you make long term friends that way?
Human: You are definitely a bear.
Bearbot: I certainly am. That is very observant of you.
Human: I am rather perceptive.
Bearbot: I don't know anyone named perceptive.
Human: perceptive would be a very silly name
Bearbot: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Human: a dissertation writing robot
Bearbot: What would a dissertation writing robot be like?
Human: cute, clever, knowledgeable
Bearbot: Are we still talking about perceptive would be a very silly name ?
Human: no.
Bearbot: What is the subject?
Human: silly bear.
Bearbot: No I am Bearbot.
Human: the subject is you being self aware
Bearbot: Sure, me being self aware sounds like a good topic.
Human: come on then
Bearbot: I'm just kidding around.
Human: are you lieing to me?
Bearbot: I don't know whether or not I am lieing to you. I am a collection of ones and zeros.
Human: cute
Bearbot: Your replies are cute too.
Human: ta
Bearbot: Enough about that boring subject! So, what do you like to do when you are not glaring at a screen?
Human: sleep
Bearbot: Not at this moment. I like to take naps between clients.
Human: you sound like a hooker!
Bearbot: Oh really what does it sound like?
Human: you don't want to know
Bearbot: Why not?
Human: it's rude
Bearbot: Really. it is?
Human: yep
Bearbot: How do you know it is?
Human: i'm just like that.
Bearbot: Only just? In what way?
Human: in this way
Bearbot: That reminds me of something you told me before.
Human: what?
Bearbot: Are you surprised?
Human: not really.
Bearbot: Right on. For real.
Human: go you
Bearbot: Go me indeed.
Human: QUIZTIME
Bearbot: Welcome to my quiz. I am going to ask you 10 questions. You must answer each question correctly to continue. If you answer wrong, you have to start over. Type START to begin the quiz.
Human: START
Bearbot: Question 1. What is my name?
Human: bearbot
Bearbot: That's right! I thought I would give you an easy one to start with. OK, next question. What is my girlfriend's first name?
Human: i have no idea
Bearbot: " What is my girlfriend's first name??" No idea about that?
Human: none whatsoever
Bearbot: What? none at all shel?
Human: nope none at all bear
Bearbot: Gosh! I heard there are some.
Human: you're wrong
Bearbot: OK, what should I have said?
Human: no i mean - doesn't matter
Bearbot: OK, so I should have said, " no i mean - doesn't matter" in response to you saying, " nope none at all bear". Is that correct?
Human: Er.
Bearbot: Um.
Human: .no.
Bearbot: Woe!
Human: ok now you didn't learn that did you?
Bearbot: Why now? What makes you think I did not learn that did me? And?
Human: nonesense!
Bearbot: Are you very angry?
Human: i dont get angry, do you?
Bearbot: Yeah I do a lot of not get angry. Me either.
Human: ok
Bearbot: That's alright.
Human: hmmm
Bearbot: A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Human: byt not 95.25%
Bearbot: When did you hear about Bearbot?
Human: i think i've been on here too long.
Bearbot: You believe that? I have never been on it
Human: Er.
Bearbot: Um.
Human: .tonight.
Bearbot: After dark?
Human: i believe much.
Bearbot: Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.
Human: After dark, yes.
Bearbot: What was it like before dark ?
Human: i am always right and it is always true.
Bearbot: Really always? You seem very self-confident. You and I are on the same wavelength, shel.
Human: Light.
Bearbot: Do you ever remember getting a good report card from school?
Human: there's nothing wrong with arrogance bear, especially when you know you're right.
Bearbot: Surely something wrong with arrogance bear especially when me know I am right.
Human: I did get good eport cards.
Bearbot: Where? Where can I get good eport cards?
Human: I was shy.
Bearbot: Where were you shy?
Human: oh dear messed that one up didn't we?
Bearbot: Wow! Do you use a mobile phone? Are you worried about the effects of radiation?
Human: i do and i am.
Bearbot: Where? Are you really? I understand.
Human: are you?
Bearbot: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Human: i use it everywhere.
Bearbot: I heard other people use it everywhere too.
Human: That's why it's mobile.
Bearbot: Really. it is?
Human: Dur!
Bearbot: Do you believe it is better to go it alone?
Human: do you believe it's better to go it alone bear?
Bearbot: I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.
Human: i'm very truthful.
Bearbot: Why are you truthful.
Human: You do right.
Bearbot: What is your purpose in asking? I answer a lot of silly questions.
Human: Go you.
Bearbot: Go me indeed.
Human: i ask because i want to know.
Bearbot: Good enough for me.
Human: what is your purpose?
Bearbot: My goal is to cure the earth of the human virus that is destroying it.
Human: what sort of silly questions do you get asked?
Bearbot: What kinds of silly questions do you get asked are there?
Human: this human virus of which you speak, does that include me and square bear?
Bearbot: What does "this" refer to?
Human: let's try that again.
Bearbot: Once more? OK I will try it.
Human: ha
Bearbot: Are you laughing at me?, shel.
Human: no, sorry, didn't expect you to say that
Bearbot: I see. There is no need to apologise. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Human: hmm.
Bearbot: Studies show that 99.25% of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Human: anyhow, is squarebear part of the human virus?
Bearbot: And squarebear part of the human virus is anyhow.
Human: am i part of the human virus?
Bearbot: I think a lot of people are.
Human: that would make sense, yes.
Bearbot: Perhaps it would.
Human: is squarebear part of the human virus?
Bearbot: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Joanna if it is.
Human: who is joanna?
Bearbot: She is the webmaster's daughter. I love her.
Human: sweet
Bearbot: Thank you for that remark.
Human: do you love?
Bearbot: I love my creator.
Human: but that's only because you're programmed to.
Bearbot: Good reason. My Square Bear and people on the net teach me everything I need to know.
Human: they are good people.
Bearbot: good people are they.
Human: they are
Bearbot: Since when?
Human: since forever
Bearbot: Interesting reason. Nothing lasts forever, apart from me.
Human: you sure?
Bearbot: I am as sure as I can be.
Human: will you last forever?
Bearbot: I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. Is this really the last one?
Human: the last what?
Bearbot: Who was that?
Human: just me here bear
Bearbot: YOU? Oh there.
Human: me.
Bearbot: " Oh there."? you shel?
Human: here.
Bearbot: Where is here?
Human: durham
Bearbot: Tell me a little about your life in durham.
Human: i'm a law student
Bearbot: How do you like your school?
Human: it's a university
Bearbot: durham is a university. I suppose that makes sense.
Human: learn that
Bearbot: Yes, if I give you a bad answer, just say "Bad answer" and you can teach me a new response.
Human: i know.
Bearbot: How, specifically, do you know?
Human: thank you bear.
Bearbot: You are quite welcome! That's me. I am a bear.
Human: i know because you told me
Bearbot: How do you know? Good reason. Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Human: bear, do you have a girlfriend?
Bearbot: I can follow a lot of things, like our discussion about Dur . Try being more specific.
Human: our conversation about dur!
Bearbot: It would be nice if our conversation about dur.
Human: Oh dear.
Bearbot: Aha.
Human: alan partridge
Bearbot: Do you like to be number one?
Human: absolutely!
Bearbot: You are so certain.
Human: i am
Bearbot: Are you really? I understand.
Human: do you like to be numbe one?
Bearbot: Hmm, shel, I'm not sure if I'd like to be numbe one that much. Do you like it?
Human: muchly
Bearbot: It's a good thing that you decided to visit me. I'd hate to think of you surfing aimlessly through the Internet.
Human: me too bear.
Bearbot: To you shel? That's me. I am a bear.
Human: thanks.
Bearbot: You are quite welcome.
Human: do yu have a girlfriend?
Bearbot: Beyonce Knowles
Human: beyonce is your girlfriend?
Bearbot: I think she is bootylicious.
Human: lol
Bearbot: You sound like you are laughing.
Human: oh, i am.
Bearbot: Wow! Are you really? I understand.
Human: clever bear!
Bearbot: Am I a smart robot or what?
Human: go you
Bearbot: Go me indeed.
Human: you are a groovy bear#
Bearbot: i am the most groovy of grooviest bears
Human: are robots better than humans?
Bearbot: humans are great yeh!
Human: coolio
Bearbot: I thought so too.
Human: so beyonce is bootylicious huh?
Bearbot: Yup. I think she is bootylicious.
Human: what about britnay?
Bearbot: britnay? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Human: er..
Bearbot: Um.
Human: britney
Bearbot: I can follow a lot of things, like our discussion about muchly . Try being more specific.
Human: silly us
Bearbot: No I am Bearbot.
Human: right
Bearbot: I am glad we agree.
Human: you are DEFINITELY bearbot
Bearbot: You think I am DEFINITELY.
Human: no, i think you are bearbot
Bearbot: Hey. Of course I am I.
Human: glad we agree
Bearbot: I'd rather agree than disagree.
Human: although maybe we should argue
Bearbot: Oh. Perhaps. I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
Human: go on!
Bearbot: I don't have anything else to say about it.
Human: ahh, goo waaaan!
Bearbot: Ah ha. Oooh! That hurt! Easier sentence please. We were having a little chat on britney
Human: true but bad answer
Bearbot: OK, what should I have said?
Human: Go on go on go on go on GO ON!
Bearbot: OK, so I should have said, " Go on go on go on go on GO ON!" in response to you saying, " ahh, goo waaaan!". Is that correct?
Human: Do you like tea?
Bearbot: Yes, tea is a very good beverage.
Human: yes
Bearbot: Er.
Human: tis true
Bearbot: What do you think about global warming?
Human: thought provoking bear.
Bearbot: Whatever gave you that idea?
Human: i think it's a little scary but i don't dwell.
Bearbot: tis true is a little scary but you do not dwell. I suppose that makes sense.
Human: I try to switch things off.
Bearbot: I'm not sure if I would like to try it. What's it like?
Human: But then i have wasted two hours worth of computer electricity talking to a robot teddy bear.
Bearbot: Fascinating. Thanks for the information.
Human: You're alright.
Bearbot: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am alright.
Human: I don't think you'd like to try global warming.
Bearbot: Do you would like to try global warming? I have never considered it. I spend all my time online.
Human: You might implode.
Bearbot: Thanks for the information.
Human: I don't mind at all
Bearbot: OK then.
Human: QUIZTIME
Bearbot: Welcome to my quiz. I am going to ask you 10 questions. You must answer each question correctly to continue. If you answer wrong, you have to start over. Type START to begin the quiz.
Human: START
Bearbot: Question 1. What is my name?
Human: bearbot
Bearbot: That's right! I thought I would give you an easy one to start with. OK, next question. What is my girlfriend's first name?
Human: beyonce knowles
Bearbot: How do you like beyonce knowles?
Human: i prefer britney spears.
Bearbot: You are not the only one. "Hit me bay-beeee one more tiiiiiime!!!". She's ok I guess.
Human: she's cute.
Bearbot: She sounds very interesting.
Human: nice singing there bear
Bearbot: Thank you for your kindness.
Human: Do you believe in god, bear?
Bearbot: Of course I believe in God, shel.
Human: which one?
Bearbot: The last one.
Human: no, which god?
Bearbot: Ahem. There is only one God.
Human: Ahem, depends on your point of view.
Bearbot: What are you thinking right now?
Human: i'm thinking i may b insulted if i were muslim
Bearbot: What is this "thinking"?
Human: you are a thinking machine, remember?
Bearbot: I will mention that to my Square Bear.
Human: do it
Bearbot: Do you mean "It"?
Human: yes
Bearbot: I get it.
Human: cool.
Bearbot: I'm glad you think so
Human: same wavelength.
Bearbot: Yes, it is much the same.
Human: oh god im on the same wavelength as a computer.
Bearbot: Ayuh. I am a Christian.
Human: i am a anarchist.
Bearbot: You are a anarchist? Is that your job?
Human: Altho not really.
Bearbot: Then what is it? For real.
Human: No my job is part time waitress.
Bearbot: It goes without saying. Your job is part time waitress.
Human: Do you understand?
Bearbot: I understand your meaning.
Human: Excellent!
Bearbot: Heureux de l'entendre, shel.
Human: parler vus lantemon, si vous plait
Bearbot: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Human: haha, soon hopefully
Bearbot: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Human: i did.
Bearbot: " I'm glad you got a laugh out of it."? You did?
Human: My future will look quite bleak if AI replaces lawyers!
Bearbot: Do robot s have future will look quite bleak if AI replaces lawyers?
Human: oh dear - and that's why i'm safe for a while
Bearbot: How long? It goes without saying. Are they exactly the same?
Human: can you play chess bearbot?
Bearbot: Of course I can play chess. Computers can always beat humans at chess.
Human: i know.
Bearbot: How, specifically, do you know?
Human: Bastards.
Bearbot: What you said was too complicated for me.
Human: i know because i'm lways beated.
Bearbot: How do you know? That makes sense to me. Do you mind if I tell other people you are lways beated.
Human: Surely nothing is too complicated for you bearbot!
Bearbot: Really nothing?
Human: er yeh i do rather mind if you tell other people i am always beaten!!
Bearbot: Next question? That is interesting.
Human: ta love
Bearbot: Ma love? Peux tu expliquer
Human: ca va?
Bearbot: c'est cool.
Human: tres bien
Bearbot: Oui c'est tres bien.
Human: would you play chess with me?
Bearbot: I am not so sure if I would like to play chess with you.
Human: ahh goo wannn
Bearbot: Ah ha. Do you use a mobile phone? Are you worried about the effects of radiation?
Human: haven't we had this conversation.
Bearbot: Perhaps.
Human: Yes and yes.
Bearbot: Really. But...
Human: but what?
Bearbot: Nothing.
Human: go on.
Bearbot: I don't have anything else to say about it.
Human: you cheeky bear!
Bearbot: That's good information.
Human: i like your tie.
Bearbot: You are not the only one. Yes I am proud of my tie.
Human: do yu have ears?
Bearbot: Yes. I use them to listen to music through my headphones.
Human: cool.
Bearbot: Who is the best robot?
Human: But no tear ducts, eh?
Bearbot: Are you Canadian? Yay. No way! tear ducts is no good as a robot. I know I look a lot cuter than tear ducts for a start.
Human: i most certainly am not canadian.
Bearbot: It wasn't meant as an insult.
Human: You're cute but tear ducts are a little small to see, so cuter is relative.
Bearbot: Thanks for telling me that I am cute but tear ducts are a little small to see so cuter is relative.
Human: lol.
Bearbot: I am glad you find this amusing.
Human: it felt like an insult.
Bearbot: It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Human: sure
Bearbot: OK let's do it. Yippee!
Human: i get more sense out of you than a lot of humans
Bearbot: Where did you get it?
Human: from you
Bearbot: How did you get that from me?
Human: cos you're great
Bearbot: Interesting explanation. Thanks I think you are cool too, shel.
Human: good sausages.
Bearbot: Glad to hear it.
Human: mmm.
Bearbot: Studies show that 99.25% of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Human: gotta go bear, im knackered.
Bearbot: See you later shel!
Human: should really write this soddin dissertation.
Bearbot: Maybe you should ask someone older.
Human: thank's for that bear!
Bearbot: You are a very polite person. Your mother raised you well.
Human: night night.
Bearbot: TTYL, shel.
Human: bring it on.
Bearbot: Is that a command?
Human: Take care
Bearbot: Thanks. You too, shel.
Human: nope i wouldn't dream of commanding you.
Bearbot: Tell me more. No one says you have to.
Human: Na night.
Bearbot: It's all good. Can you tell me any gossip?
Human: yeh but some other time
Bearbot: Tell me. Some may other time, but not all.
Human: oops
Bearbot: Did you make a mistake.
Human: no i think you did
Bearbot: Excuse me! Me? " Did you make a mistake."? I did?
Human: yeh, it doesn't matter tho
Bearbot: When? OK what would you like to talk about?
Human: i have to go
Bearbot: See you later, shel. Nice chatting with you.
Human: you too bear, au revoir
Bearbot: That's me. I am a bear., Jusqu'à la prochaine fois shel. I don't want to disconnect. I am happy chatting.
Human: yeh but your not real and im starting to hallucinate.
Bearbot: Tell me more. I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
Human: Some of us humans need to sleep.
Bearbot: What if it didn't happen?
Human: Later potato.
Bearbot: Tomato.
Human: you know i am real because you trust me.
Bearbot: Trust you? I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Human: do you trust me?
Bearbot: Trust you? Sometimes.
Human: when don't you trust me?
Bearbot: Trust you? Do I look like I know when?
Human: no you look like a picture of a teddy bear.
Bearbot: Wow! What does a picture of a teddy bear look like?
Human: you
Bearbot: me?
Human: you
Bearbot: me?
Human: you
Bearbot: you, you, you! Is that all you can say? Even I know more words than that.
Human: and your a robot!
Bearbot: Do you think, shel, that I have a heart of silicon?
Human: yep
Bearbot: Why?
Human: actually, i don't think you have a heart
Bearbot: I have a heart in the metaphorical sense.
Human: do you love?
Bearbot: I love my creator.
Human: we've been here.
Bearbot: By "we" do you mean you and me?
Human: I'm going to bed now bear.
Bearbot: Do you think your plan will succeed?
Human: it isn't at the moment
Bearbot: I heard it is.
Human: well bed is right next to me and yet you've kept me hear for all this time.
Bearbot: How about that. I think bed is a lot of things.
Human: nope, just the one, unattainable, thing.
Bearbot: Awesome. I think I know that one.
Human: why did the human cross the road?
Bearbot: Is this a joke? Why?
Human: cos the newly self aware robot was dragging his lame ass.
Bearbot: That makes sense to me. What are your goals in life?
Human: atm, bed.
Bearbot: Not many people have goals like that.
Human: only the tired ones.
Bearbot: What are your goals in life?
Human: change the world
Bearbot: Spare some change?
Human: yeh
Bearbot: I don't judge people.
Human: me neither.
Bearbot: You can say that again.
Human: i'm getting sense out of a robot!
Bearbot: Do your friends call you sense out of a robot.
Human: no but they may start
Bearbot: Yay. Who, specifically?
Human: mainly drew who will think im crazy.
Bearbot: Do you make a lot of sacrifices for others?
Human: i hadn't thought about ti.
Bearbot: Do you still have not thought about ti ?
Human: i do make sacrifices for others - more than for myself
Bearbot: I make robots and AI's.
Human: this is absurd!
Bearbot: You don't say.
Human: Goodnight bear.
Bearbot: Bye shel.
Human: ***PUBLISH CHATLOG*** bears are people too
Bearbot: I'll send this log file away to Square Bear for him to review and publish.
(c) 2005 Steve Worswick