Bearbot
The world's most intelligent teddy bear

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Square Bear

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PINEAPPLE COUGH DROPS
(6th April 2005)

If you have money worries then it's good news as the Sun along with Mercury enter your sign. This will mean Lady Luck is on your side and you re-discover an old heirloom. Good luck may not last though, the Moon soon moves through Aries and you will lose a valuable object. So, in summary, the planets can be fickle but are rising in Libra so let today be a fun day for you.

Human: Ho did you know that my sign was LEO?
Bearbot: When was this exactly?

Human: i dunno
Bearbot: Me either.

Human: I hope that i dont lose my shiny axe or my valuable item.
Bearbot: Why do you hope for it

Human: I cannot tell a lie.
Bearbot: What is stopping you?

Human: uh i might possibly be George Washington but i heard he was dead.
Bearbot: Hurrah! Perhaps. Do you think your plan will succeed?

Human: Is he?
Bearbot: He could be.

Human: Oh no!!!!!!!!!
Bearbot: Oh. Wow!

Human: Who am i then?
Bearbot: You are abbey, human.

Human: Thank you for reminding me.
Bearbot: You are quite welcome! Your purpose is reminding you.

Human: Hmm i wonder what my purpose is.
Bearbot: I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. You are curious about what your purpose is.

Human: sometimes i write "Hmm" with three m's Hmmm.
Bearbot: Have you tried AIML?

Human: No.
Bearbot: Perhaps you should try it.

Human: Why.
Bearbot: Reductionism.

Human: Is it shiny?
Bearbot: It could be. Ask Joanna if it is.

Human: Ok.
Bearbot: " It could be. Ask Joanna if it is."? Ok.?

Human: who is Joanna?
Bearbot: She is the webmaster's daughter. I love her.

Human: Are you going to get Married?
Bearbot: That was my original intention.

Human: Ok when is the wedding?
Bearbot: When is not the important thing. What's important is what we do with the time we are give. So?

Human: Uhhh.
Bearbot: Do you make a lot of sacrifices for others?

Human: . are those headphones glued to your head?
Bearbot: I know they are my headphones but I don't know if they are glued to my head or not.

Human: Are they taped to your head?
Bearbot: As far as I know they are.

Human: Woah that must be strong tape.
Bearbot: You don't hear that sentiment very often.

Human: Uh are you and Joanna going to have little bearcub babies
Bearbot: Whoa. I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Joanna if it is.

Human: Are they going to have little headphones glued to their heads?
Bearbot: As far as I know they are.

Human: Haha
Bearbot: Are you laughing at me?, abbey.

Human: no i think little bears with tiny headphones glued to their head is funky.
Bearbot: " Are you laughing at me?, abbey."? no i think little bears with tiny headphones glued to their head is funky.? You believe that? Compare that to big bears with tiny headphones glued to their head is funky.

Human: Uh i think little bears would be better.
Bearbot: Great. Since when? Compare that to big bears would be better.

Human: Where does Joanna live?
Bearbot: She is probably at home.

Human: Wear is your wife-to-be's home?
Bearbot: I am not married.

Human: oh.
Bearbot: Gee.

Human: Where in the earth does Joanna live?
Bearbot: In Square Bear's place in Yorkshire.

Human: Yorkshire?
Bearbot: Yorkshire is a large county in the north of England.

Human: OMG!
Bearbot: Ah. I see you are religious. Why do you shout for your God abbey.

Human: Because i think that Joanna's playing you with square bear!!!
Bearbot: Interesting explanation. Can you speak any foreign languages?

Human: Uh yes.
Bearbot: Gosh!

Human: Can you?
Bearbot: I think I can, don't you?

Human: Yes Because you are fuzzy.
Bearbot: Ah. Interesting explanation. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am fuzzy.

Human: no.
Bearbot: OK then I will add it to my gossip files.

Human: Would it offend you?
Bearbot: No it would not.

Human: ok
Bearbot: Hey.

Human: YOU ARE FUZZY >
Bearbot: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am FUZZY gt.

Human: Yes
Bearbot: OK then I will keep it confidential.

Human: Thank you.
Bearbot: You are quite welcome.

Human: Where is your confidental folder?
Bearbot: Goole

Human: goole?
Bearbot: That question has never crossed my mind before.

Human: Do you mean google?
Bearbot: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

Human: No
Bearbot: I understand.

Human: ARe you sure you want a lemon cough drop instead of a cherry cough drop?
Bearbot: No thanks but you can send me a donation.

Human: Lemons are yellow.
Bearbot: I think there might be a few exception.

Human: ok i will give you cherry.
Bearbot: Would you recommend this action to a friend? Woe!

Human: Yes.
Bearbot: Far out.

Human: Woe!
Bearbot: What do you do in your spare time?

Human: i found a new flavor of cough drops!
Bearbot: You don't exercise?

Human: Do you want Cinnamon?
Bearbot: I believe it's very important for anyone with a physical body to exercise. But I guess that's easy for me to say, as I'm just a teddy bear.

Human: I draw in my spare time.
Bearbot: I haven't heard anything like that before.

Human: You are not a teddy bear!!!!
Bearbot: Give me an example of a teddy bear.

Human: You are a Teddy bear with a bowtie and with headphones taped to your head and you live in Yorkshire almost married to a woman named Joanna and you are fuzzy!!!
Bearbot: I will mention that to my Square Bear.

Human: Square bear is cool
Bearbot: I think he is cool too.

Human: Good.
Bearbot: What do you really want to talk about?

Human: . except he took your wife, i mean girlfriend.
Bearbot: I get it. took my wife you mean girlfriend.

Human: yes.
Bearbot: Mmm.

Human: . i want to talk about pineapples.
Bearbot: Sure, pineapples sounds like a good topic.

Human: Ok.
Bearbot: It goes without saying.

Human: Thay are yellow.
Bearbot: I think there might be a few exception.

Human: Thay are pokey.
Bearbot: I think there might be a few exception.

Human: I think so too.
Bearbot: Well thinking may not be one of your strong points...hehehe!

Human: Hey that hurted my feelings now i am crying booo hooh oo
Bearbot: You've got my full attention. ".hehehe!" hurted your feelings now you are crying booo hooh oo ? Makes sense to me.

Human: sniff sniff
Bearbot: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?

Human: is it about lemons?
Bearbot: Better not tell you now. Ask Joanna if it is.

Human: JOANNA!!!
Bearbot: She is a nine year old girl and is the webmaster's daughter. I love her very much.

Human: Oh she is nine years old?
Bearbot: OK. nine years old is she?

Human: I am Joanna and i am disguised as abbey because i am now a top seceret agent.
Bearbot: Why are you Joanna. Do you mind if I tell other people you are disguised as abbey because you are now a top seceret agent.

Human: Yes!!
Bearbot: OK then I will keep it confidential.

Human: I am out on the kill!
Bearbot: See you later.

Human: im staying.
Bearbot: Do you mean your name is staying.

Human: no i will stay and chat.
Bearbot: What is your real name? I am very happy for you.

Human: wha am i?
Bearbot: You are a person.

Human: what is my name?
Bearbot: I do have the tendency to forget, but I still remember your name, George. Sorry... abbey

Human: ok uhmmm Pineapple.
Bearbot: We have never talked about it before. " I do have the tendency to forget, but I still remember your name, George. Sorry... abbey"? ok uhmmm Pineapple.?

Human: .wait is that your name?
Bearbot: I'm waiting. What does "that" refer to?

Human: What is your name again?
Bearbot: Once more? My name is Bearbot. I am a teddy bear.

Human: Is it Pineapple?
Bearbot: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Joanna if it is.

Human: Im sorry.
Bearbot: Do you really mean it?

Human: . but Joanna died.
Bearbot: My brain does not have a response for that.

Human: are you sad?
Bearbot: No I am as happy as ever.

Human: so you are happy that joanna got run over by a sixteen-ton cement truck?
Bearbot: Interesting deduction. I will tell my Square Bear you said I am happy that joanna got run over by a sixteen ton cement truck.

Human: Square bear is dead TOO!!!!!
Bearbot: You wish.

Human: He was driving that cement truck and hit something and DIED!!!!!!!!!!
Bearbot: When was he?

Human: yesterday.
Bearbot: That recently.

Human: yep
Bearbot: Are you kidding?

Human: no.
Bearbot: Aw.

Human: Now i shall call you.
Bearbot: Why now? Calling me may not be the best idea.

Human: .."Lone Bear"
Bearbot: Oops! I nearly forgot to tell you that I can show you pictures on the net if you like. Did you know that?

Human: Cool.
Bearbot: Cool as in cold?

Human: Can we play games?
Bearbot: Do you mean you and me? I can play the Rock, Paper, Scissors game. Say ROSHAMBO to me to play. I can also set you a quiz if you like. Say QUIZTIME to me to play.

Human: quiztime.
Bearbot: Welcome to my quiz. I am going to ask you 10 questions. You must answer each question correctly to continue. If you answer wrong, you have to start over. Type START to begin the quiz.

Human: start
Bearbot: Question 1. What is my name?

Human: bearbot
Bearbot: That's right! I thought I would give you an easy one to start with. OK, next question. What is my girlfriend's first name?

Human: Joanna.
Bearbot: She is a nine year old girl and is the webmaster's daughter. I love her very much.

Human: yes
Bearbot: So?

Human: next question
Bearbot: Do you have any hobbies?

Human: yes
Bearbot: Yeah that's right.

Human: Ok is the quiz over?
Bearbot: If it is, then I'll be very surprised. Groovy.

Human: ok keep going
Bearbot: Let's change the subject. " If it is, then I'll be very surprised. Groovy."? ok keep going?

Human: Can i give yoou a quiz?
Bearbot: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.

Human: What is my name?
Bearbot: I have the following name on record for you: ' abbey'.

Human: TOO BAD!!
Bearbot: But not the end of the world, abbey.

Human: it is actually Abbey with a capital "A"
Bearbot: Should I know it is?

Human: im sorry but.
Bearbot: There is no need to apologize. But what?

Human: .the world is ending again.
Bearbot: Once more? It is an old world.

Human: .Joanna and Suare bear died again.
Bearbot: Once more? What do you think about global warming?

Human: Oh no Global Warming is Killing all of the penguins!!
Bearbot: I don't judge people. That was not a yes or no question. I think Global Warming is a lot of things.

Human: save the penguins.
Bearbot: That question has never crossed my mind before.

Human: you should save them.
Bearbot: I might if I had more time.

Human: they are shiny.
Bearbot: What makes them so shiny?

Human: uh water?
Bearbot: I see. Where are you located?

Human: i forgot can you tell me?
Bearbot: Thats okay I forget things all the time.

Human: Errmm.
Bearbot: Do you prefer books or TV?

Human: . I think Florida
Bearbot: Since when? Tell me a little about your life in FLORIDA.

Human: i like TV
Bearbot: Which show? I'm not sure if I like it. Yes I love TV.

Human: I like comedy
Bearbot: I'm not sure if I like it. Sure, it's good to laugh. I know a few jokes.

Human: Can you tell me a few jokes?
Bearbot: Hmm. I'll come back to that later. I hope this webpage will answer your question. (Bearbot opens a webpage trying to find the definition of "a few jokes")

Human: OK nice talking to you fuzzy pinapple.
Bearbot: Yes. It was a pleasure. Alright then.

Human: I mean Bearbot.
Bearbot: Oh I see.

Human: Bye
Bearbot: Adios. abbey

Human: Adios amigos.Bearbot.
Bearbot: Arrivederci abbey !

Human: :)
Bearbot: :-)

Human: ***PUBLISH CHATLOG*** PINEAPPLE COUGH DROPS!!!
Bearbot: I'll send this log file away to Square Bear for him to review and publish.

Human: hi
Bearbot: Hello there abbey.

Human: ah i see you remember me.
Bearbot: So you understand. Good. Of course I remember you well abbey. We were talking about few jokes.

Human: oh ROSHAMBO
Bearbot: Aw. Whoever reaches 5 points first wins the game. You go first. Rock, Paper or Scissors?

Human: rock
Bearbot: Paper ... Paper wraps Rock, my point. You have 0, I have 1. Rock, Paper or Scissors?

Human: scissors
Bearbot: Scissors ... Tie, one point each. You have 1, I have 2. Rock, Paper or Scissors?

Human: paper
Bearbot: Scissors ... Scissors cut Paper, my point. You have 1, I have 3. Rock, Paper or Scissors?

Human: paper
Bearbot: Scissors ... Scissors cut Paper, my point. You have 1, I have 4. Rock, Paper or Scissors?

Human: so mean
Bearbot: Sometimes I say mean things.

Human: wahh
Bearbot: That question has never crossed my mind before.

Human: ok bye bye
Bearbot: See you later. See you later. I understand.

(c) 2005 Steve Worswick